Last year a friend of mine gave me a copy of the book Captivating. I glanced through it, placed it on a shelf in my closet, and closed the door. I never picked it up again until about ten days ago when I started reading it. Every time I have started to put the book down, it has quoted me to myself and in no uncertain terms proceeded to tell me (sometimes in my own words and reasons for not wanting to read it to begin with) about myself and the condition of my heart.
Everything it's said is true- - -how my heart has been wounded, that it has become hard (to protect itself from further hurt/damage), and how I need to give all the pieces of my aching, broken heart to the Lover of my soul. I read that if I would look and listen that He would give me "presents" (a gentle breeze, the smell of fresh flowers, a double rainbow after a storm, a song playing on the radio when I'm up at 2:45 in the morning that reminds me I'm "safe in His arms")...gifts from Him who knows me best and loves me the most.
Realizing His love for me is changing how I feel about myself. Strange- - -how I'm nervous about saying anything else on the subject just now. One thing about any of this-particularly in a blog and putting it out where just anyone can see it: I have to be willing to make myself vulnerable.
I remain a work in progress. That's okay. I'm pressing toward the mark...
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I often wonder about being vulnerable. There is a lot I share today that I would never have years ago, but there are things that I cannot share because the info, though true would unnecessarily hurt the other parties involved in "my" story. There is a verse in proverbs from the Living Bible that describes it a diarrhea of the mouth! HA!
ReplyDeleteI believe I tend to keep an arms length, but also have found that my emotions flow the free-est within the body of Christ. So I rest in His arms and not in another's. I need His embrace, but I also need other's embrace for myself and for their need to bear my burdens. So I still need growth or since I know the truth, is it practice.
Thanks for sharing with us.
Jean
"gifts from Him who knows me best and loves me most"
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. Thanks for sharing.